Decision 2020: 80’s Toys Cabinet

President Teddy Ruxpin
Vice President Rainbow Brite
Attorney General Papa Smurf
Secretary of State Care Bear*

*Sunshine or Harmony would be best suited to this role, given the need for diplomacy

Other Secretaries

Agriculture = Strawberry Shortcake
Commerce = Cabbage Patch Kids (shared role)
Defense = G.I. Joe
Education = Speak and Spell
Energy = Glo Worm
Health and Human Services = Easy Bake Oven
Homeland Security = He-Man // She-Ra (co-secretaries)
HUD = Garfield // Odie (shared role)
Interior = Barbie
Transportation = Power Wheels
Treasury = Scrooge McDuck
Veterans Affairs = Optimus Prime

Other Cabinet Positions

Chief of Staff = See n’ Say
U.N. Ambassador = My Little Pony
Small Business Administrator = Jem/Jerrica

Inquiring Minds

Have you ever wondered what happens to people’s stuff when they get murdered, or die in a cult suicide pact or something? Theoretically, their family members were either in the cult too, or had been ex-communicated years ago.

Does the stuff go to Goodwill? Is it put up for auction? Would anyone buy clothes off a dead person? Now I’m going to naturally assume everything I buy second-hand was on a dead body. So that’s why the stuff is so cheap!

by Tommy R. Panagopolis
Residential Life Magazine


I recently participated in my first Interactive Live-Action Role Play, or “iLARP.” The experience was quite impressive — both technically and otherwise — and was unlike any other. I would likely participate in another event.


Same Page

I got to thinking, however, that everyone “LARPs” at some point in their life. Everyone finds an outlet that allows them to be someone different from who they usually are. Whether it’s acting, video games, reading, drugs, etc., everyone wants and needs to experience adventure and be someone they’re not. Maybe it’s the theatrics, maybe it’s the excitement of it all, maybe it’s the opportunity to reinvent yourself, if only for a few hours.

I actually think it’s healthy. Kids are always making stuff up, and they seem pretty content about it. Positive outlets can help people become more grounded in reality.

by Catherine Obvious
Pop Culture Editor
Residential Life Magazine

Shared Office Space Creates Tension

Dear Suri, I work in a “shared office environment,” which only means that everyone shares an office with at least two other people. It is mostly a space issue, but my supervisor also says it was done to boost teamwork. I guess people were relying on e-mail and chat and not actually talking to each other for weeks on end.

I actually don’t mind this setup, and the people I share with are usually pretty good about not listening to loud music, keeping food and perfume smells to a minimum, etc. But now this one lady has started to mess the whole thing up.

She just got a new personal computer, and now insists that everyone lock the door when they leave the office. It is just stupid. I’ve already been locked out three times, and it is just a waste of time and productivity.

Business People Working In Office
We’re all in this together

Labor Intensive

I’m overweight, so I usually empty my pockets when I get to work. The way dress pants are made, they don’t leave a lot of ‘extra room,’ if you know what I mean. It just gets too tight and uncomfortable when I sit down with stuff in my pockets. I’ve started to put my wallet and keys in a drawer and leave them in there until the end of the day. So when this lady pulls this stuff, it means I get locked out. I am tired of it!

Twice Shy

I complained to a co-worker, and he said that she (my office mate) had some stuff stolen a few years back when she had her own office. They took her computer, purse and some other stuff. Some guy posed as a janitor and just swiped stuff from everyone. I guess he made off with a lot, and then was never seen again. But that was years ago, and also when her office was on the first floor. Now we’re on the second floor. It would take balls to come up here and pull that stuff!

I think this lady is being disrespectful. Constantly locking the door is annoying, especially since she has a drawer that locks! Just keep your stuff in there. Don’t force the rest of us to play this game every day! — Locked Out in Loch Haven, Pennsylvania

Dear Locked Out, Rebuilding trust can be a long and difficult process. More than the mere loss of material possessions, theft is a violation of privacy and security. The emotional toll can last for years — even a lifetime.

Remaining sympathetic to your co-worker’s concerns, could you not draft a personal reminder to bring your keys when you leave the office? Good luck. ~Suri

Suri Says™
by Suri Syrtauwnya
Advice Editor
Residential Life Magazine

Concerning Casual Fridays

Casual Fridays are about more than dress and style, and in some cases are tied to office politics and coworker viewpoints.

The ‘perk’ of Casual Fridays is certainly not an uncommon workplace ideal. In some offices, however, this seemingly optional measure is taken quite seriously. Having recently started a new job, I quickly found that out the hard way when four people — each with a tone of marked irritation — made a point to inform me: “You know we do Casual Fridays, right?”

Take It Easy, Baby

Of course, I am well aware of this “policy,” and I do value a relaxed atmosphere. The thing is, I actually feel comfortable in “dress clothes.”

Keeping in mind that old tenet to ‘dress for the event,’ I will opt for a long-sleeve, button-up shirt over a golf shirt any day of the week. This doesn’t mean I hold some sort of vendetta against any clothing. Given the option, however, and whether at work or play, I will always choose my dress shirt and slacks over a golf shirt and jeans. It is simply a personal preference.


With Us or Against Us

Over the weekend, I replayed the rather hostile confrontations in my mind, searching for answers as to how this intended “casual” day could take such a sour turn. I came to realize that the issue goes far beyond jeans, sneakers, and really any type of clothing at all. It likely stems from hurt feelings and misinterpretation.

No one wants or deserves to be belittled, or made to feel somehow inferior to another. From the very first days of our lives, humans are hard-wired to seek out approval and inclusion. As children, we look for parental approval. As adults, most of us seek to encourage pleasant accord with friends, family, and co-workers.

When someone or something threatens that harmony, the tendency is to go into “defense mode.” The trouble is, this measure works (or doesn’t work!) both ways. So while co-workers may have viewed my choice not to participate in Casual Friday as some sort of antagonistic display of superiority, their own aggressive reactions lead me to believe that they were somehow displeased with my professional or personal performance (or both).

Team Player

As a show of compromise, and also a sort of social experiment, this week I will break down and “contribute” to Casual Friday with jeans and a golf shirt. Wish me luck.

by Mr. Grunbau
Employment and Enterprise
Residential Life Magazine

Hot for Hooters

When you need chicken wings, you need ’em now. At least that was the case for one Florida man who police say called 911 for a ride to Hooters.

Hankerin’ for a Snack

Merritt Island police say 28-year-old Jonathan Hinkle told a dispatcher that his grandmother was having a stroke in the parking lot of a local Hooters, and claimed he needed a ride there so he could help save her life. The only problem is, Hinkle’s grandmother was fine, and was nowhere near the restaurant at the time of the call.

Misuse of the emergency system is a third-degree felony. If convicted, Hinkle faces up to five years in prison.

News Offbeat
Real Stories from Around the World
by Danny Inc  
News Editor
Residential Life Magazine

Weakest Link

I never expected it would be my teen daughter that I would catch checking out a porn site. Apparently, she stumbled upon it by accident, and I was walking by the “family computer kiosk” at just the right (or perhaps wrong) moment.

Her story (which I have no reason to disbelieve) is that, while doing research for a school paper, she clicked a link on a completely “safe” website, and ended up there. No one got in trouble, and we all moved on with our lives. But the incident got me thinking. Should web professionals be held accountable for the content that is linked to and from their sites?


Know Your Content

Of course, anyone updating an online presence — be it a website, blog, or even social media account — should be well aware of the outbound links they are displaying. But what happens when those links change, or when the sites those links point to get taken down, or even hacked?

A reasonable content audit is expected, but it is inefficient and even unrealistic to expect site owners to go through every single piece of content they have ever posted, in some cases going back several years. Further, I don’t know of anyone who routinely audits their Facebook page.

So in most cases, questionable content is not realized until it is caught by someone else. That could present an awkward and embarrassing situation for the content owners.


Wild West

The other side of things concerns websites that are linking to your content. In some cases, you might not even know this is happening. Spamming and phishing may become the least of your worries.

If, for instance, you are being linked to from a variety of unsavory sources (porn, etc.), it won’t take long for your site to get referenced as an akin member — meaning search engines could begin indexing your site in the same categories as porn. That’s fine if you’re a porn site, but completely the opposite if you’re not!

Clean House

A good rule of thumb to follow is to perform regular audits on your current and recent content, and to purge or archive content that you no longer plan to audit. Doing so may prevent you from a future uncomfortable scenario.

by Enid Ahylhienatta
Technology Consultant
Residential Life Magazine