You Were Right There!

Always make sure to fill up the getaway car. That’s a memo Sean Harris never got.

After he robbed a gas station, the 33-year-old South Bend, Indiana man was quickly arrested… when he ran out of gas.

He’s charged with robbery and DUI. If stupidity was an arrest-able offense, he’d be charged with that, too.

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News Offbeat
Real Stories from Around the World
by Danny Inc  
News Editor
Residential Life Magazine

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Busted

I’ve been waiting so long to see a Google street view vehicle. It’s become a dream of mine. When I finally get to see one, I’ll immediately disable it and vandalize the hell out of it for trespassing and invasion of privacy.

google-maps-car

Big Brother

Who made Google the NSA? What gives them the right to photograph private property and then post it online without consent? I’m ready to take this to a lawyer. If I could make it to Google HQ, I’d take it right upside the head of everyone I encounter. I’d break everything in sight! I’ll shove someone out a second-story window if I have to! That’s how pissed I am about this!

Fighting Back

A like-minded friend put up a bunch of signs on his property and even re-arranged the landscaping so it basically tells Google where to shove it. His plants spell out “F– You, Google!” so that even if they blur out the signs, they’d have to blur out the whole yard. He’s got a few of his neighbors signed on to the plan, too! They want to be the only place on earth that Google hasn’t made their selfish mark. I say good luck to them! I am a huge supporter!

It’s time average citizens start to take their power back from the powers that be. It’s time residents of communities across the nation finally say “enough is enough” and put their feet down once and for all. Take the necessary steps to shut down the Google anti-privacy machine. Do what you have to do.

by Bartt Zarb
Residential Life Magazine
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Rants n’ Raves with Jon Novin
on
Residential Life Magazine

Give Her the Cold Shoulder?

Dear Suri, I am still enamored with a young lady with whom I’ve been on several romantic outings. Suddenly, however, she has been behaving in a most aloof fashion.

Acting on advice from friends (and several Internet sites), I made the decision to give her ‘the cold shoulder’ for a pre-determined amount of time. The plan was to really ‘teach her a lesson’ on how unacceptable her recent behavior has been.

But instead of ‘seeing the light,’ she has opted to immediately cease our interactions. I am hurt and confused, and am not sure what my next steps in the matter should be. — Heartbroken in Hoboken

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Dear Heartbroken, Communication remains the key to any successful relationship – be it friendly, professional, or romantic connection.

It’s wise to approach your female friend with a sincere apology and explanation of your perhaps misguided actions. Whether she accepts this concession and provides ‘next steps’ will, of course, be entirely up to her.

Emotions are a confusing and delicate matter, to be sure. However, purposely behaving in a rude and abrasive manner rarely leads to a positive outcome to any interpersonal communication. Best of luck to you! ~Suri

Suri Says™
by Suri Syrtauwnya
Advice Editor
Residential Life Magazine

Chuck E. Don’t Play That

It’s as good as cash in many households… just not at the library.

A Massachusetts man tried to pay his library fine with Chuck E. Cheese tokens. Since then, dozens have followed suit.

The library finally took to social media to clear up the confusion that the tokens are, in fact, not legal tender, and therefore cannot accepted as fine payments.

News Offbeat
Real Stories from Around the World
by Danny Inc  
News Editor
Residential Life Magazine

Mold Cause & Prevention

Mold is a serious concern for many families. If untreated, mold can cause severe respiratory troubles for humans and pets, and can even lead to death in extreme cases.

What is Mold?

Mold is a fungal growth that can attach itself to most any surface. It is actually an essential element in the natural environment, helping to break down dead leaves and other organic materials. Once inside a house, however, mold spores — which are typically invisible to the naked eye — can wreak havoc on your home and family members.

Inside a home, mold is typically found in damp and dark areas, such as the:

  • bathroom
  • kitchen
  • storage areas
  • basement
  • areas with poor ventilation
mold
An example of mold inside a home

Health Complications

Many people who have come into contact with mold believe they are “just sick,” or experiencing stress-related symptoms. They may experience:

  • watery and itchy eyes
  • rash
  • chronic cough
  • sinus trouble
  • severe headaches / migraines
  • difficulty breathing

This can spark severe allergies — sometimes likened to hay fever symptoms — and even asthma in some people.

How Can I Eliminate Mold From My Home?

Unfortunately, it is impossible for the average homeowner to completely eliminate all mold and mold spores inside. Even if you are somehow able to remove most of the visible mold, the invisible spores will still be present.

Plus, areas like your couch and other furniture may still contain mold spores in cracks and crevices that are not visible to the naked eye.

This is why it’s important to contact a professional mold service to clean up your home. The company will provide a thorough test and eradication of all mold and mold spores, including from the heating/air conditioning system.

Ensuring Permanent Mold Removal

If the necessary steps to completely remove mold from your home are not taken, there is a chance that you will suffer another outbreak.

Also, depending on the severity of the mold problem, you may not be qualified or equipped to tackle the job on your own.

Mold technicians are trained and certified, and must wear special protective suits, including hoods, boots and gloves, goggles, and respiratory devices.

by Gregg Fahrmand 
Building & Architecture Consultant
Residential Life Magazine

Feedback Friday

Needs Specifics

Stop saying “I’ll be back” when you’re only going to be gone for a few minutes. Say “I’ll be back in a few minutes,” or don’t say anything at all; just go do your goddam errands or whatever you have to do. You wouldn’t say “I’ll never be back,” would you?! Just stop it.

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Traffic Laws

When you come to a four-way stop, WATCH. It’s not that complicated. And don’t wave me on like you’re doing me a favor. I’m not the one who got there five minutes ago and is waiting for everyone else, for some reason. Watch when you approach a four-way stop!

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Missing Details

Thanks for not putting directions on the packet. Thanks for just assuming I’ll know exactly what to do. Maybe you printed them on the box and somehow I’m the jackass in this. Yeah, ‘cause I usually bring a whole goddam box of stuff to work. Now there’s a 60% percent chance my lunch will be ruined. Jerks.

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Stickler for Grammar Rules

Putting numbers in words stops them from being words. It’s not ‘single’ if you spell it ‘S1ngle.” It’s not ‘three-peat’ (which is not even a word to begin with) if you spell it ‘thr33-peat.’ Please stop doing this.

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Buyer Beware

We’re not gonna buy your house, regardless of what you call only “minor” repairs. All that “inexpensive” stuff can add up to some real money. It’s like saying “Sure, the car is 20 years old, but with a new engine and drive train, it’ll be good as new!” Doesn’t make any sense.

Hand Out

I couldn’t believe this restaurant listed an “automatic 18% gratuity” to the meal! Who in hell do they think they are?!

Tips should be dependent on service. Plain and simple. Not the amount of food that’s ordered. Not the amount of people in the party. Not the distance you had to travel to make the delivery, or any other lame mandate.

I’ll admit there was one time I didn’t leave any tip. The guy was just as rude as he could be, several people who came in after us were served before us, and the entire meal — which should have taken an hour, tops — took three hours! Ridiculous!

Further, it’s not my fault that your employer pays you peanuts. I shouldn’t have to be expected to pick up the slack. I’m not your boss, I’m a paying customer! Treat me with some goddam respect.

I’m starting to get heated here, so let me close by saying that a tip is a monetary version of a pat on the back — a tangible “job well done.” Tips shouldn’t be taken for granted, and they sure as hell should not be automatic!

I’ll never go back to that hole. I hope they fail.

by Willa Shaykhs
Rants n’ Raves with Jon Novin
on
Residential Life Magazine