This Belt Doesn’t Just Hold my Pants Up

Ever since I got a new belt, people are treating me differently. You might think it’s all in my head, but I know it’s true.

See, I used to have a ‘normal’ one-hole belt, which I suppose is the standard. Of course, I mean it only had one hole per ‘notch,’ not just one hole, total. Let me say that before anyone makes an issue out of it (I’m looking at you, Novin!).

Anyway, the other day I bought a belt that has two sets of holes all the way down. I actually got a bigger waist setting than I usually do, since I’ve put on some pounds lately. I’ll admit that.

Well, the belt is thick, and with the double holes and reinforced leather, it looks pretty intimidating! It makes me look like a dude you don’t want to mess with — like I wouldn’t think twice about snatching it off and wielding it like a weapon! I would never do that, of course, but I think people are starting to think I might!

Everyone is being so weird lately. Maybe they actually think the belt is lame. I just thought of that. But the way they glare at me is less of a “look at that jerk with the lame belt,” and more of a “you don’t want to mess with a guy who wears a belt like that.” I think it’s awesome!

My girlfriend says it looks “unprofessional.” She says I look like a “teenaged thug.” Maybe that’s the way I want to look! The belt is leather, with a gold-plated, standard sized buckle. I don’t think anyone would call that ‘unprofessional.’

No matter what anyone says, I’m keeping it. I’ve seen a change in other people since I’ve been wearing it, and I’ve even seen a change in me. There, I said it. My new belt has been a great addition to my life. I feel like I’m on top of the world now!

by Tommy R. Panagopolis | Residential Life Magazine

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