Politics and Society

Don’t Stand So Close to Me

So I’m in the bathroom doing my thing and some douche comes up and stands right next to me, even though there’s about six other open urinals. Look, I get that some other dude was using the last one, but this guy still could have used a middle one, which would have given him a good amount of space between the both of us.

This dude obviously isn’t up to snuff on his Urinal Protocol. Say, for instance, there are five ‘spots.’

Choose your spot wisely.
Choose your spot wisely.
  1. The first guy comes in and uses the very last one.
  2. The second guy picks the one farthest from him.
  3. The third guy takes the middle one, and anyone else will wait.

Yes, they’ll wait even though there are two urinals that are technically open. This is what guys do. This is the standard.

So I don’t know what his guy’s problem was today. I don’t think it was a homosexual thing or anything, I just think maybe that’s his ‘place.’ Kind of weird to pick the second one in if you ask me, but, hey, whatever works for the guy, y’know? Maybe that’s the only place he’s able to drain it.

I’m not pissed or nothing, and I’m not gonna even bring it up to this guy. I’m just saying it was weird is all. Real weird.

by Stavros “Stolli” Capleton | Residential Life Magazine 


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