Dear Suri, I’m part of a ‘networking’ group. We meet formally every month to discuss things, go over agenda items, etc. Every few weeks, we also have an informal get-together, where we have fun, meet new people and just enjoy ourselves. Now, the group wants to start a monthly ‘birthday bash,’ and they’re trying to get everyone to sign on to the idea. The thing is, I am just not into it.
It’s not that I don’t like them, or don’t want to have a good time and celebrate their birthdays, and I’m not one of those people who tries to keep their own birthday all quiet. There are other things happening here.
First of all, I am on a diet. I really need to get a handle on my weight, and I’ve decided to start eating better and exercising more. I know I don’t have any self-control, so I really don’t want to put myself in a situation where there will be cake and sweets. I just know I will fall off the wagon!
Also, everyone who participates in the birthday bashes would have to bring something, either homemade or store bought. I don’t want to make stuff at home for the same reasons as already stated. I can see myself making an extra portion of whatever I would bring to the party, and then just eating that in front of the TV. I don’t want to buy something, either. I’m not cheap, but taking on an extra monthly expense is not something I want to do right now. I know that might sound bad, but I just don’t feel like it.
But with all that said, I don’t want to seem like I’m not a ‘team player,’ or have people alienate me from the group because of this. I can’t really tell anyone there about my feelings. They might not understand, or might get mad and kick me right out of the group! I just don’t know what to do. — Cheryl T. | Bozeman, Montana
Dear Cheryl, Networking is important to both social and professional advancement, however your involvement in any group that would turn its back on you for such a personal conviction may need to be reinvestigated. This is assuming your notion of alienation would prove correct.
If an explanation is warranted, could you not detail the reasons you have just expressed? If not the expense portion, perhaps focus on your new health regime? Surely no one could fault you for wanting to keep in shape. You may find others are feeling the same way and, perhaps, the idea will be abandoned altogether.
Kudos for your social involvement, as well as your commitment toward personal health. Best of luck to you in both endeavors. ~Suri
by Suri Syrtawnya | Advice | Residential Life Magazine