Get on Board

It’s no secret that airport security lines are getting longer and more time-consuming. People are missing flights, for God’s sake! Something has to give.

Now they say they can’t hire enough TSA workers. Of course you can’t! Who wants to be a glorified mall cop? The only people who seek out TSA jobs and actually enjoy working for the agency are pedophiles and the mentally ill.

Johnny Law

K9 Police Dog
He’ll sink his teeth into your throat, dirtbag!

What we need is to bring in a private company that hires trained and qualified workers with law enforcement backgrounds. And we need to stop pandering to every bleeding heart out there. If you look like a terrorist or make threats, even as a joke, I want to see your ass face-down on the ground with a K9 chomping on your groin and a rifle in your temple. Bet you won’t do that again!

Look Sharp

While we’re at it, the lines wouldn’t take so goddam long if people would just follow the rules already! This isn’t something new, people! Take off your goddam shoes, belts, etc. Put your fug’n laptop on the belt. Stop being an asshole.

Police State

TSA Workers at Airport Security Screening Gate
You’re always a criminal here

Screening should start the second you walk in the door. No! Earlier than that! It should start the second you pull up to the airport – whether you’re flying or not. Everyone has to get there three hours early, even if you’re only on a short, domestic flight. Only passengers allowed inside. Leave Aunt Tilly at home.

And for God’s sake, pay attention! Read the goddam screens, know what you’ve got in your own fug’n bag, and if you can’t keep your kids in line, either leave them at home, or give them away.

Rants n’ Raves with Jon Novin
Opinion Editor
Residential Life Magazine

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