I hear people — especially guys — keep talking about how “nice guys finish last.” As the title of this piece suggests, ‘last’ doesn’t have to last forever. I know most guys don’t like to hear that, though!
The thing that these ‘nice guys’ have to realize is that not all women actually want a ‘jerk’ or ‘bad boy’ as we are often accused of. Most women are typically attracted to men who can stand up for themselves, and who may have differing opinions (and are willing to defend them!).
Don’t Be a Jerk
Instead of doing these things, though, a lot of the ‘nice guys’ get the wrong message, and think it’s okay to disrespect women and play relationship games like ignoring her, not calling back, and other ploys. In most cases, this won’t get you anywhere. In fact, the women you approach this way will likely be so put off that they’ll tell other women to stay away from you, as well.
Grow a Backbone
Other guys take the ‘niceness’ to an extreme level, and send off the wrong message. If you are always agreeable and never stand up for yourself, women are going to view you as a peer (what is sometimes referred to as “safe”), and that’s how a lot of guys fall into the ‘friend zone.’
So What’s a Nice Guy to Do?!
First of all, be yourself. Whether you’re trying to impress us by acting all high society, or if you’re trying to be the ‘bad boy’ by dressing and speaking counter to your personality, women can see right through an act.
You can be respectful (of us and yourself!) while still disagreeing with some of the stuff we say. That’s okay, and actually makes a relationship interesting. The saying ‘opposites attract’ has a lot of truth. Who wants to be around someone with the exact same thoughts and opinions as themselves? Where’s the challenge? You might as well just sit home, alone, in that case!
Great Guys Finish First
The point is this: ‘nice guys’ need to become great guys, and they do that by standing up for what they believe in, taking charge in a relationship when necessary (but not being rude, disrespectful or bossy), and showing a girl that you could be with anyone else (or alone), but you choose to be with her because she complements your life, not because you are desperate, or want to have sex with her, or any other slimy reason.
So stop being a pushover, stop being a jerk, and start being a great guy. Nice guys are a dime a dozen. Rebels have too much drama. Great guys are a catch. And when you start being this guy, you’ll finally start getting the attention that you desire and deserve.
by Angelina Estevante
Love & Relationships
Residential Life Magazine