Politics and Society

Role Model

So now my kid’s pissed at me ‘cause I won’t let her go to some “gotta go” party this weekend. Look, I’m not naïve. I figure she’s had at least a few sips of beer in the past. Probably even done some stuff with guys. I’m not gonna be some clueless dad like that. Of course, if I find the douche she’s been with, he’s fuggin’ dead. ‘Nuff said about that.

Good Fences

Way to go, folks!

You get where I’m going: she’s not perfect, neither am I. That’s life. So it ain’t because of all that why I’m not letting her go. It’s ‘cause this other kid’s parents are goddam psychotics. You know the type: they’ve got that whole dumb-ass mindset of “I’d rather my kids drink at my house, at least then I know they’re safe.” Gimme a goddam break.

Why don’t you lead your kids up the bedroom, then, while you’re at it? Let ‘em snort crank all night and screw ‘til the break of dawn! I mean, at least you’re know they’re there, right?!

Keeping It Under Wraps

I’m not some perfect dad, not by a long shot. But I know what my kid’s up to, and even though I’m cutting her some slack these days, I’m still gonna draw a hard line on some things. And this is one of ‘em. I taught her better than that stuff, but temptation’s a mighty tough thing to resist, especially when you got your hormones a-ragin’, and some idiot parents who don’t give two shits in charge.

These scumbags need to start understanding that they’re adults, and not teens anymore. You can’t be ‘friends’ with your kids, sucko! You gotta show ‘em how to get by in life by example, not by being some spineless SOB who can’t enforce the rules to save his life! Forget this. I’m done with this bullshit.

by Che Zelofan
Residential Life Magazine


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