Highways and Byways

Chill Pill

So I decide to go for a little after dinner stroll to ease my mind, right? What a waste! Wouldn’t you know it starts pouring about half way through. No place to get away. And now there’s  a storm coming. This is gonna be fun.

Then I see this douchebag speeding up, hoping to get me with a puddle. I’m smarter than these pricks, so I wait until he goes by. Then I see him round the corner to try again! Now I’m pissed.

Come at Me, Bro

I always have a weapon on me – usually two or three. Whatever is right for the situation at hand. This time I picked up a rock from the ground. He makes another (failed) attempt, and that’s when I launched the stone right at his back window!

Now I’m ready for a confrontation. But he doesn’t even stop! Just speeds up and swings around the corner like the little bitch he is.

Always Prepared

It’s too bad, really. I was ready to gut that motherfucker like a deer. Right in the middle of the road. I wouldn’t have even cared!

Now, he’d better get that window fixed real nice and quick, ‘cause if I see a Jeep driving around with a cracked back windshield, I’ll make sure to crack that driver’s head open right on the pavement.

I’ll slash that dick’s face with a razor. I’ll put a slug in his fug’n head. I don’t give two shits! No one tries to disrespect me like that. No one.

by Abraham “Able Abe” Aenstograafik
Residential Life Magazine


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