Help Wanted

So I get a tip that this guy’s looking for someone to do some side work for him, right? And it sounds like a good gig and all. Plus I know a dude who already works for him. So I give the guy a call.

The first thing he does is tell me to call back later, real gruff like. Say what?! You’re the one who needs a worker, and I’m calling you up, pal. The least you could do is at least fake an interest. Then he says he’s gonna “have to think about it.” Why don’t you think about my boot in your ass, dickface?! I swear I’m about to break this guy’s jaw.

Smarten Up

If you’re looking for a worker and someone calls you up, don’t be a prick. Make the three minutes it takes to talk, and make a decision. This is why you can’t get workers, and why all the ones you have are looking for other gigs.

The next time I see this guy, I’ll run him over with my car. Then, I’ll back up and run him over again. Then I’ll get out of my car and smack him upside the head with a goddam frying pan. I’m not going to be disrespected. Not by this ass.

by Bart Zarbb
Residential Life Magazine

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