Big Brother

When it comes to work, things presented as ‘optional’ and/or ‘anonymous’ are anything but. As suggested in a previous essay, employers today are looking for any excuse to fire people without getting sued or otherwise suffering adverse action. They work hard to make you as miserable as possible — totally fuming, ready to snap. And then — like the cowards they are — they get security to do their dirty business for them.

Worker Bees

The only thing you can be sure of in today’s work environment is that you will be used and abused in every way possible, and then discarded like a bag of trash at the first sign you might actually stand up for yourself. And the game-playing begins from day one!

Optional Requirement

job-interview
We own you now

Like the other day, when we were given the “option” of contributing to the company’s various philanthropic projects — either through monetary donation or volunteering our time. Now why in hell would I want to spend one second of my free time with the psychotics in my company, or detract from my nights or weekends by lending free labor to these slave drivers?!

Well, wouldn’t you know it, the next day I get accosted by not one, but three, separate people, demanding answers for why I hadn’t yet signed up to contribute. Silly me, I thought ‘optional’ actually meant optional. What a rookie move!

Sign Here to Remain Anonymous

I personally know a dude who got fired after filling out a so-called “anonymous” work survey. Man, he tore into them like a side of beef! Really let them know the criminals they are, and where they could shove it! He blew the roof off their little fantasy land in the worst way! I loved it! Though his language might have been a bit on the offensive side, factually, he was totally spot on. Nothing he wrote was inaccurate or stretched the truth in any way.

It took less than 90 minutes for the survey to get forwarded to the higher ups, he got called into the boss’ office (open door), and was subsequently threatened, humiliated, and shit-canned in the most public of ways, then escorted out the door by security. A new record!

Check Yo’Self

Bottom line: know how to play the game at work, and play it as best you can. Of course, you’re always going to lose in the end. Sooner than later, they’ll find a way to drag you through the mud and completely ruin you: financially, emotionally, and otherwise.

In the meantime, anything marked ‘anonymous’ should be treated as if it’s being handled by the CEO himself (which it will, eventually), and anything marked ‘optional’ means you absolutely have to do it, and do it right this second. Good luck. You’re going to need it!

by Ericka Ng
Residential Life Magazine

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