Food and Dining

Breaking Bread

These days, I’m going “low-carb.” The other day I had a sandwich. I was outside and not near a trash can. I don’t like to waste food, and I’ve seen plenty of birds, squirrels, and other critters running around the place, so I tossed the roll into a nearby grassy area. Turns out there weren’t any takers, since the bread was in the same spot the next day. But when I went out to my car at lunch, someone had moved it right next to my car!

Ready to Rumble

This was no accident. It was definitely placed on purpose. Which means someone was watching me the other day, and now wants to start something. Bring it on! I’m more than ready. Whoever did this clearly has no idea what a little bitch I am, or how once you start something with me, I’ll fight to the bitter end.

Meet Your Maker

I can’t wait to check at lunch today. I hope the bread is by my car again. I really do. I hope whoever’s been doing this had their fun, too, ’cause that’s all about to end. Tonight, I’ll set up security cameras to catch the perp in action. And when I review the footage tomorrow, I’ll know whose ass I’m gonna beat later on. This game is over. I’m not taking any disrespect from anyone! Not today, not any day.

by Bartt Zarb
Residential Life Magazine


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