Products and Merchandising

Petty Thugs

Here’s your summary: eating something in the store without paying for it is stealing. It’s as simple as that!

I am so tired of people acting like it’s okay to go into a grocery store and steal for an hour. I’m not talking about free samples. I’m talking about helping yourself to a huge scoop of nuts, or swiping some grapes, or whatever else you can think of!

Five Finger Discount

A lot of places now have even taken to keeping stuff locked up from these thieves. My local grocery store doesn’t have any open barrels/bins, and they just took out the bulk candy station. The bulk coffee station remains, mostly because not many people can brew a free cup of Joe without being noticed! Asswipes!

This is not free

Teach Your Children Well

Back to the candy station. When I was a kid, there was this little lockbox in the middle of the big plastic bins of candy. It was for if you only wanted a couple pieces. Even as a kid, I always dropped my nickels in there, and never took more than I had paid for. Even as a kid, I had more tact and scruples than some of these psychotics today.

The other day I saw this mother unwrap a candy bar for her kid. The kid is happily munching away, and then his slut mom throws out the wrapper before she got to the registers! Skank! I had a friend who used to like to drink a soda in the store, but he’d always bring the empty bottle up to the register so it could be scanned. This bitch is teaching her kids how to bilk the system!

One Bad Apple

If people keep it up with this horseshit, one of two things is going to happen:

  1. a) everything will go behind the counter, and you’ll have to ask for and pay for stuff right up front, or

    b) stores will start jacking up their prices to make up for the loss.

If I have to start paying more to accommodate some cocksucker who can’t keep his stealing hands to himself, I’m going to flip out. I’ll fly so far off the handle it’ll make your head spin. I’ll tear the whole goddam store apart. I don’t even care!

Stop stealing stuff from the stores without paying. You crooks know who you are. If I see you, I’ll slash your face with a letter opener! It’s about to get Biblical up in here!

by Bartt Zarb
Residential Life Magazine


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