Love and Relationships

Who Wears the Pants?

I currently live 14 hours away from my boyhood home, so when I make the yearly trek, I try to see as many friends and family members as possible.

This year, I wasn’t able to catch up with a good friend I haven’t seen in a few years — and it wasn’t because of any conflict with his schedule! Instead, it was his wife that successfully cut me out of the equation, as I suspect she’s been trying to do for the better part of a decade.

I’ll spare the reader the choice words I have for this lady. That kind of talk is best reserved for entries by Able Abe, Jon Novin, and Bart Zarbb. But I would be outright lying if I didn’t admit that I felt more than a little betrayed by her infantile display.

Nothing to Fear?

Many women seem somehow threatened by their husband’s friends, and will do their damndest to completely remove these persons from their husbands’ lives. The reasons behind these childish (and in most cases completely irrational) feelings are numerous.

Some wives might fear their husband is going to spend all his free time with his old time buddies. Others may be concerned that they be hauled off to venues unpleasant to them, with no one to converse with.

She’s always listening!

Ice Queens

Contrary to what these women may think, marriage does not mean you have to be connected at the hip to your partner at all times. Ball and chain, indeed!

The unfortunate reality, however, is that these conniving women don’t reveal their true colors until the wedding guests have already headed home. Some even keep their little “secrets” concealed until they’ve got the poor fellow tied to the marriage by a kid or two. And of course by then it’s too late to do anything about the situation. A reality of which they are well aware.

In the interim, these black widows will let on that they are fine with your friends — even enjoy their company. But in the background, these puppet masters have already devised a laundry list of ways to permanently keep you away from your buddies no matter what.

Meanwhile, these sirens will keep a vice grip on their own friendships, and will take “girls’ night out” whenever they feel like it, and at the drop of a hat. And guess what? Your new “best friends” are now her girlfriends’ husbands.

I urge you to carefully gauge your current relationships, and to exercise the utmost caution before entering into a new one. Taking steps toward long-term commitment be the worst decision of your life.

by Vissar Ionovich
Residential Life Magazine



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