Grow Up

All these parents complain about the “terrible twos” and threes. I’m tired of it!

First off, if you can’t handle your own kids, don’t have kids in the first place. Secondly, you’re the parent. I don’t care how “difficult” your kid is. You are the authority. If they don’t like how things are, let them live on the street for a night or two and see how they like that.

Created a Monster

And no one asked you to have kids in the first place! Whether they were planned or not, there’s only one way to have kids. And if you’re too dense to figure that out, too bad.

It’s not my problem if your kid is a spoiled brat. Don’t make it my problem. ‘Cause I’ll come up with a solution you’re damn sure not going to like!

Doling it Out

If I’m in the store and your POS, living petri dish of a kid starts to throw a tantrum, there’s going to be an issue. And I mean immediately. You had better be on the way out the store with that crap machine straight off, or I’ll bring the hammer down on your selfish ass before you can blink. And I’ll do it right in front of your kid!!

Bottom line, keep your rugrat under control, or I’ll put that mofo in a cage! I’ll headlock that little runt ’til he passes out! I don’t even care! I’m through with this horseshit! I’m taking back my life and my freedom today!

by Bartt Zarb
Residential Life Magazine