Feedback Friday

…and Eat it, Too

Running unsuccessfully for President and then trying to go back to your old gig is like giving notice to your employer, and then when that doesn’t work out, going back and begging them to keep you on. You wanted to leave. See ya!

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Explaining Crime

Everybody gets ice cream except this one kid ’cause of something he did last year. Everybody gets to go to the park except this one kid ’cause of something he did last year. Eventually he’s going to realize he has nothing to lose and act out again.

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Stranger Danger

Never get close to people. They can drop an old phone and say you broke it. They’ll have witnesses to “back it up.”
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Upset with Road Crew

Instead of patching the road all the time, just fix the road! It costs more to constantly patch up than to just fix it! What the hell are we paying taxes for?!

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Feedback Friday

Needs Specifics

Stop saying “I’ll be back” when you’re only going to be gone for a few minutes. Say “I’ll be back in a few minutes,” or don’t say anything at all; just go do your goddam errands or whatever you have to do. You wouldn’t say “I’ll never be back,” would you?! Just stop it.

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Traffic Laws

When you come to a four-way stop, WATCH. It’s not that complicated. And don’t wave me on like you’re doing me a favor. I’m not the one who got there five minutes ago and is waiting for everyone else, for some reason. Watch when you approach a four-way stop!

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Missing Details

Thanks for not putting directions on the packet. Thanks for just assuming I’ll know exactly what to do. Maybe you printed them on the box and somehow I’m the jackass in this. Yeah, ‘cause I usually bring a whole goddam box of stuff to work. Now there’s a 60% percent chance my lunch will be ruined. Jerks.

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Stickler for Grammar Rules

Putting numbers in words stops them from being words. It’s not ‘single’ if you spell it ‘S1ngle.” It’s not ‘three-peat’ (which is not even a word to begin with) if you spell it ‘thr33-peat.’ Please stop doing this.

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Buyer Beware

We’re not gonna buy your house, regardless of what you call only “minor” repairs. All that “inexpensive” stuff can add up to some real money. It’s like saying “Sure, the car is 20 years old, but with a new engine and drive train, it’ll be good as new!” Doesn’t make any sense.

Feedback Friday

Clean Up

To the douche who keeps leaving his toilet paper “lining” on the seat:

I get that you’re a germophobe, but maybe other people don’t want to have to touch the paper that just recently held your ass. At least flush it down when you leave. Douche.

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Pay Attention

FYI: the cop car in the construction zone is just there to make people slow down so they don’t kill the guys working on the road. You only have to slow down. You don’t have to slam on your brakes and make every person behind you do the same, and hope they don’t get into some goddam accident on the way to work.

And if you were paying attention instead of talking on your phone, you might have actually seen the lights a mile away, like the rest of us!

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Friendly Hello

Guy, we’re co-workers, the least you can do when I smile and say ‘good morning’ every day is give me a simple smile back, or a wave, or even a ‘fuck you.’ At least acknowledge my existence. Dick.

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Disputes Poor Grade

You gave me a ‘D’ on the report even though you know it was written better than prolly 90% of the other papers! Just ‘cause you don’t like the content, doesn’t mean you can punish me. I did everything the assignment said, wrote complete sentences, met the page requirement and everything! You just have some personal vendetta against me, for some reason.

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Keep It Efficient

Next time, tell me when it’s going to be more than the amount of money I have in my hand. You saw me counting out dollar bills. I had four in my hand. Did you think I had more stashed someplace else?

And what is this $3.95 shit anyway? Just say it’s gonna be $4.25 in the end and be done with it. Now I have to search for change in my car and go to the back of the line. I’m sick of this!

Feedback Friday

Nasty Lunch

This is an office. It’s not a restaurant, not your house, not some picnic by the lake. Stop microwaving fish and eggs and acting like it’s not a big deal. It stinks up the whole building. That’s why there’s a sign that says “Be respectful of others.” Didn’t your parents teach you manners?!

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Advice for a Germophobe

Maybe the reason you get sick all the time is because you don’t give your body a chance to fight germs. Maybe you shouldn’t constantly be using Purell and never going outside of your office unless you absolutely have to, then beetling right back.

Parents who let babies crawl around on the floor get sick, sure, but that’s how they build up their immune systems. You’re gonna keep getting sick and have to take weeks off work. It’s not about being “clean,” it’s about being realistic.

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Road Rager

To the lady who cut me off today, then gave me the finger, even though I was going five miles an hour OVER the speed limit: I hope you get into a single-car crash. I hope you break your arm. I don’t want you to die, but I want it to be bad enough to shake you up and learn a lesson.

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Un-Friendly Skies

Smaller airline seats are here. Deal with it. Just like any other business, airlines have to think about their bottom lines. The hand wipes I like also got smaller, so now I buy different hand wipes. If smaller seats are such a big deal to you, there’s a few options: lose some weight, or maybe try taking two weeks to drive someplace and see how you like it.

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Unhappy Customer

This blog is a such a rag. Lick my ass, you fug’n losers.