True Confessions

Like many folks, I’ve struggled with my weight for years, seemingly gaining and losing the same pounds every year. But when I made a commitment to long-term health — not just the mandatory New Year’s resolution — I immediately began to see results.

I’m glad to report that I’m finally nearing my goal weight. I’m sorry to report, however, that this is the fifth time I’ve done so. But they say the fifth time’s the charm, so… 🙂

Joking aside, as recently as last summer, I was tipping the scales in the upper 200s. Prior to that (in college) my heaviest had been 180. I still have a photo where I was wearing an XXL sweater… and still not hiding my belly! So you can imagine how I felt with several dozen extra pounds. That’s like carrying around a third grader… constantly! But people can only change when they’re ready.

smorgasbord

“Glory” Days

Moving to another location has actually helped me position myself in a better place for committed wellness. I don’t suggest moving is a requirement to weight loss, and my environment was surely not completely to blame for me packing on the pounds. But there is something to be said for the many places I had to pass before reaching my old place:

  • Burger King
  • Wendy’s
  • Taco Bell
  • KFC
  • a pizza joint
  • a BBQ joint
  • an ice cream shop
  • Dunkin’ Donuts and
  • Captain D’s seafood

The latter being where they knew me by name, and the cook was already preparing my double order of fried clams, French fries, coleslaw and two hush puppies before I even got to the counter, while the waitress had filled a bag with my two pieces of cheesecake, two slices of Oreo crème pie, banana caramel treats and two large Cokes by the time I was close enough to say ‘hi.’ I wish this was an exaggeration. I really do.

I will spare you most of the sordid details, only to admit that I got quite sick that first night (bet you saw that coming!). As I looked up — red-eyed — into the mirror, I gave the reflected man the finger and promised myself I’d never do it again. The next week, I did.

These days, I pass only one shop (gas station/convenience store) on my way home, and my thrifty side now overrides my stomach — refusing to pay $4 for a bag of chips.

I’m not saying I’m a health nut. There’s a bluegrass show this weekend, and you’d better believe I’ll be hitting the ribs! But I’ll ‘hit’ one small plate, not six heaping piles.

To Thine Own Self be True

Now I’m on a soapbox (at least it’s not an empty box of Eskimo pies!), but suffice it to say that no matter what your current environment, work schedule or other factors, there is always time to take care of your health.

No matter where you are in your wellness routine — whether you’re 10 or 100 pounds overweight — you can do it. Yes, you can.

You just need to believe in yourself and take the necessary steps to return to the fit you inside. I wish you all the best, and send my full support for your endeavors!

by Raul Lisneski
Health & Fitness Editor
Residential Life Magazine

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Tough Luck

The owners of a New York gift shop called “A Beautiful Mess” didn’t think it was so pretty when a garbage truck slammed into their store.

Police say the unattended truck rolled away from a nearby gas station. No one was injured. But now, the owners aren’t sure if the store can be repaired in time for Christmas.

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News Offbeat
Real Stories from Around the World
by Danny Inc  
News Editor
Residential Life Magazine

‘Til Germs Do Us Part

Dear Suri,

We’re about to go on a short plane trip (3 hours) to visit relatives, but I am totally freaking out about the germs! I just know I’m going to get sick.

I bought those medical masks like they wear in China, but my husband refuses to wear one on board. I’m ready to drop him over his attitude about the whole thing. What’s your take? — Germy in Jersey

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Dear Germy,

In light of recent viral outbreaks, your heightened awareness regarding airborne pathogens is valid.

It is not out of the ordinary for today’s traveler to take necessary and appropriate precautions to ensure the safety of themselves and their loved ones. In this case, however, the casual intimation of divorce present in your note appears to be a more pressing issue at the moment, and one you may wish to address prior to any planned excursion. ~ Suri

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Suri Says™
by Suri Syrtauwnya
Advice Editor
Residential Life Magazine

Foiled Again

johnson
William Johnson

Search history can be your best friend or your worst enemy.

It was the latter for 26-year-old William Johnson. Police in Pinellas Park, Florida say Johnson did a Google search for “how to rob a bank” moments before (you guessed it) robbing a bank.

Cops say he then hit a local store hard – buying lottery tickets, food, and booze. He was later arrested a nearby hotel.

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News Offbeat
Real Stories from Around the World
by Danny Inc  
News Editor
Residential Life Magazine

Party Pooper

Dear Suri, I showed up early to this party I was invited to, and my friends got pissed ’cause they weren’t ready. I ended up punching a hole in their door! I was just so over their kid stuff bullshit. I’d do it again tomorrow! — Jimmy Pesto

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Dear “Jimmy Pesto,” Punctuality is as much a virtue as it is a social grace. While it is unfortunate that distress has been felt on both sides, it is certainly not too late to make things right.

The process begins with a sincere and respectful apology on your part. In this case, compensation and accommodation will also have to be offered for the property damage.

Friendship is a delicate process, but it is essential after a transgression for both parties to offer necessary concessions, to keep this important bond intact. ~ Suri

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Suri Says™
by Suri Syrtauwnya
Advice Editor
Residential Life Magazin

How Many Calories in Love?

You can’t list ‘love’ as a food ingredient. That’s the word from the FDA, after a Massachusetts bakery listed the emotion as part of the production of their locally-famous granola.

In a letter to the business, the FDA said: “Love is not a common or usual name or an ingredient, and is considered to be intervening material.”

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News Offbeat
Real Stories from Around the World
by Danny Inc  
News Editor
Residential Life Magazine

Fair Weather Friends?

Dear Suri, I finally got a job after being out of work for almost a year, and now people are coming out of the woodwork wanting to take me out for drinks and celebrate. Where the hell were they when I was down and out?!

I’m not trying to be a whiner here, but I faced some pretty scary days, Suri. A couple months, I was close to getting evicted, and I skipped meals most weeks. I’m not looking for sympathy, I’m just saying.

So it’s a little hard to accept all this attention as genuine. I’ve a mind to tell everyone to shove it up their ass! — (Anonymous)

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Dear Anonymous, Congratulations on your new job. May it be the perfect fit, and help bring you much happiness.

Humans, as you know, are terribly complicated creatures. There are times when a well-meaning friend feels they are unable to offer any real assistance, or perhaps they are in a similar situation – dealing with shortcomings and frustrations of their own.

This is by no means an excuse for those who may have, indeed, written you off in your time of need. Perhaps, with your new perspective, this is an opportunity to re-evaluate your current relationships, and also create renewed bonds with others.

It is wise, however, to take care not to make rash decisions, or take severe actions you’ll regret later on. ~ Suri

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Suri Says™
by Suri Syrtauwnya
Advice Editor
Residential Life Magazine