Shared Office Space Creates Tension

Dear Suri, I work in a “shared office environment,” which only means that everyone shares an office with at least two other people. It is mostly a space issue, but my supervisor also says it was done to boost teamwork. I guess people were relying on e-mail and chat and not actually talking to each other for weeks on end.

I actually don’t mind this setup, and the people I share with are usually pretty good about not listening to loud music, keeping food and perfume smells to a minimum, etc. But now this one lady has started to mess the whole thing up.

She just got a new personal computer, and now insists that everyone lock the door when they leave the office. It is just stupid. I’ve already been locked out three times, and it is just a waste of time and productivity.

Business People Working In Office
We’re all in this together

Labor Intensive

I’m overweight, so I usually empty my pockets when I get to work. The way dress pants are made, they don’t leave a lot of ‘extra room,’ if you know what I mean. It just gets too tight and uncomfortable when I sit down with stuff in my pockets. I’ve started to put my wallet and keys in a drawer and leave them in there until the end of the day. So when this lady pulls this stuff, it means I get locked out. I am tired of it!

Twice Shy

I complained to a co-worker, and he said that she (my office mate) had some stuff stolen a few years back when she had her own office. They took her computer, purse and some other stuff. Some guy posed as a janitor and just swiped stuff from everyone. I guess he made off with a lot, and then was never seen again. But that was years ago, and also when her office was on the first floor. Now we’re on the second floor. It would take balls to come up here and pull that stuff!

I think this lady is being disrespectful. Constantly locking the door is annoying, especially since she has a drawer that locks! Just keep your stuff in there. Don’t force the rest of us to play this game every day! — Locked Out in Loch Haven, Pennsylvania

Dear Locked Out, Rebuilding trust can be a long and difficult process. More than the mere loss of material possessions, theft is a violation of privacy and security. The emotional toll can last for years — even a lifetime.

Remaining sympathetic to your co-worker’s concerns, could you not draft a personal reminder to bring your keys when you leave the office? Good luck. ~Suri

Suri Says™
by Suri Syrtauwnya
Advice Editor
Residential Life Magazine


December Downer

So this putz at work thinks I have it out for him. We had this office gift exchange at Christmas and he put in the only gag gift. I got it, and even though I thought about breaking his legs right then and there, I didn’t, and instead laughed it off. I did make a note of it, though, and if I ever see him the parking lot, he’s gonna feel my windshield at 30 mph!

Deep Trouble

Anyway, I guess he got called into the supervisor’s office, where he got a real talking to. I mean he got raked over the goddam coals! This is what I hear, at least. If it were me, I would have broken a mirror over that SOB’s eyes! I would have taken a fug’n mallet to his gut. I’d beat him to a point where he’d have to take a month off work. I would teach him a lesson he’d keep for life.

You Can’t See Me

The point is, now I noticed him trying to avoid me in the office. Whenever I see him, he just kind of slinks away. If I see him at his car, he makes this stupid face and just puts his head down and walks off. I get that he’s pissed, but I wasn’t the one who bought the gag gift. I also wasn’t the one who said anything about it. I guess someone was “offended” on my behalf. Asshole. I should stab them in the neck just for getting in my business. I should break a chair over their shoulders, then throw their desk on top of them. I’ll do it! I don’t give two shits. No one goes behind my back like that. No one.

Mending Fences

So now I have to decide if this prick is worth explaining the situation to, or if I should just let him go on thinking that I squealed like a greased pig. On the one hand, I don’t want to come off like some little whiny bitch, but on the other hand, if he thinks I’ve got an eye on him (not in a gay way or anything), maybe he’ll stop being such a douche and act normal for a change.

Part of me wants to let it go. Bygones and all that. But the other part of me wants to push his face so far into the pavement that he’ll be sneezing tar and road pellets for years to come! I’ll crack his head open like a fug’n cantaloupe! I’ll get him in a headlock ‘til he passes out, then stomp on his nuts ‘til I hear a pop! That motherfucker’s not gonna get away with this. Not on my watch. Not today. No way, no how. I’ll punch him in his goddam jaw! I’ll break the fug’n thing off and huck like a goddam boomerang!

by Abraham “Able Abe” Aenstograafik
Residential Life Magazine