Highways and Byways

End of the Line

Living in a popular retirement area, you often read articles about senior living. Today, there was a piece about some lady who’s fighting her kids for the “right” to keep driving. She’s 95! I hope either the kids can knock some sense into her, or she’ll die before she kills some innocent driver or pedestrian.

Sadly, that’s what happened just last week. This 86-year-old douche took his Lincoln Towncar out for a spin and ended up jumping the curb and killing pedestrians who just happened to be walking by: a young mother and her kid who was in a stroller. Now two people are dead just because some old asswipe didn’t know when it was time to hang up the keys. And it looks like nothing’s going to happen to him on account of his age.

The roads are for young people

Sign of the Times

I’m so tired of these old geezers acting like they’re not getting old. And before anyone says it, yes, I realize that I’ll likely get to that stage. But the difference is, I won’t be so selfish as to willingly put other people in danger just because I feel like I should be able to act like I’m still in my 20s.

I don’t give two shits what these people say about how they feel like they’re losing their freedom, and how much it sucks to get old, and on and on. All I know is that if it were my loved one who’s now dead because of some absent-minded octogenarian, I would take drastic measures. That’s a promise and a fact. If you kill someone on the road because you’re too self-absorbed to realize that your reaction time is dangerously slow, you need to be severely punished.

Prove It

Once you pass a certain age, say 75, you should have to take a driving test every year. Every single year. And if you don’t pass, there go your driving privileges. And if for whatever reason you don’t like it, you can lump it. You can lump the hell out of it. And if, after that, you then decide to buck the system and go on a joy ride, and you end up causing damage to life and/or property, you should be publicly beaten within an inch of your life. Maybe you’ll die from your injuries. And it would serve your selfish ass right.

by Nora Mai
Residential Life Magazine